"Cynthya was our doula for the birth of our third child in April 2016. As this was my third birth, and I had been attended to by a doula at the first two, I knew that finding the right doula was crucial to a successful and satisfying birth." - Winter Wheeler-Young
Treatment of Depression During Pregnancy and the Postpartum Period
As a society, we need to remove the stigma of mood disorders and mental illness.
"Several adverse obstetric complications have been reported with untreated prenatal stress and depression, including pre-eclampsia, preterm delivery, low birth weight, miscarriage, small-for-gestational-age babies, low Apgar scores, and neonatal complications.7,8 In addition to being debilitating for the mother, postpartum depression affects maternal-infant interactions and some measures of infant development."
This is an excerpt from this article titled Treatment of Depression During Pregnancy and the Postpartum Period, published by the US Department of Health and Human Services.
While there is a fine line between normal hormonal changes and clinical depression and anxiety, any symptomatic woman in the perinatal period should seek clinical evaluation and possibly treatment.
Won't the Medications Cause Harm to Baby?
It is a common concern for women with known depression to be wary of taking medication during pregnancy and/or breastfeeding. Quite frankly, for most pregnant women, there is some sense of fear of putting anything in their bodies. However, more and more is being published about the much GREATER risks of untreated depression in pregnant women. I spoke to an OB and a Pediatrician personally and asked for their opinion on the subject. To paraphrase, each physician emphasized how grateful they are when women come forward with these concerns so that they can be appropriately taken care of. Both of the doctors reiterated the vast research on the damage that untreated chemical imbalances can cause the mother AND the child. There are many safe antidepressant medications for pregnancy and breastfeeding.
There are Facebook support groups for women struggling with pregnancy and postpartum depression/anxiety with literally THOUSANDS of members. This is an epidemic that deserves more attention and less judgment. We are afraid to seek help for fear of looking weak or unfit as a parent.
As a society, we need to remove the stigma of mood disorders and mental illness. A mother who feels out of control of her emotions or feelings should not feel ashamed or like a bad mother. She should feel empowered to do the right thing for herself and her baby and seek the best treatment, as decided by her provider and herself.
Postpartum Expectations and Must-have Items
To help you prepare for an easier postpartum time and a speedy recovery after birth, here are a dozen comfort suggestions and must-have items to have on hand following either a surgical or vaginal delivery.
In addition to filling your freezer with nutritious meals, lining up pet sitters, and daily help from family and friends, you'll want to stock up on postpartum supplies to have on hand upon your discharge from your birthing facility. Below are a dozen comfort suggestions to help you prepare for an easier postpartum time and a speedy recovery for both surgical and vaginal deliveries.
This post does NOT include any affiliate links for the below suggested items used for an easy postpartum recovery. We are sharing these links to help you prepare for parenthood. Also, here is our recommended gift registry for infant and breastfeeding gear that you may copy on Babylist to prepare for your baby showers. Happy Shopping!
After care items for a vaginal birth:
Epifoam
If you receive stitches on your perineum, you'll likely receive a numbing spray called Epifoam while in the hospital. If you need more after your return home, ask your doctor if Dermaplast (over the counter) is an acceptable alternative.Sitz baths
This plastic tub is placed directly on the toilet rim (seat up) and you sit on it as it circulates warm water on your bottom via a tube connected to a bag you fill from the sink. This helps clean your bottom, may encourage urination, and will help with healing. Many women find it very comforting. Follow this with an ice pack! (Insert sigh of relief!) Your hospital may offer you a sitz bath or you can find this at your local pharmacy.Peri-bottle
Following the birth of your baby, you will be given a small plastic bottle filled with warm water. Use it to squirt on your bottom as much as necessary to help encourage urination and dilute the sting caused from urine. Once your bladder is empty, squirt your bottom again gently with as much water as necessary to help clean your bottom. Then PAT your bottom dry with hospital wash cloths or toilet paper. Take your bottle home with you or buy a few to keep in each of your bathrooms.
For both type of deliveries:
Doughnut-shaped pillow or wedge (V-shaped) cushion
Called coccydynia or coccygodynia, tailbone pain usually goes away on its own within a few weeks or months after childbirth. To lessen pain while sitting, use a doughnut-shaped pillow or wedge (V-shaped) cushion. Try a dollar store pool tube!Witch hazel or Tuck's pads
Found at your local pharmacy, witch hazel is an over the counter astringent, which can be used to help shrink hemorrhoids. Most commercial bottles of witch hazel contain alcohol so it may sting with direct application. TJ Dickinson's is a brand that sells pure witch hazel. It may take you some time to locate TJ's unless you shop at Whole Foods. (You may want to try the wipes, Tuck's pads, or Preparation H.) If using the liquid, you can make a “padcicle” by soaking a pad with witch hazel and placing it in a clean Ziploc bag then freezing it. Once frozen, remove it and wear it as normal. Many women find this very comforting for their swollen, sore bottoms – especially after a vaginal delivery.Senokot
A gentle vegetable-based laxative called Senokot may be offered to you at the hospital. You can also find it over the counter at your local pharmacy. It is generally well-tolerated (doesn’t cause intestinal cramping) and takes effect within about 12 hours, so it’s usually taken in the evening.Colace
To help with those first few postpartum bowel movements, you may want to try Colace, a stool softener, during the first several days. Once you are eating/drinking somewhat “normally” and soreness has subsided, you may wish to stop taking these medications. Both can be taken on an as-needed basis in the future.Maxi Pads (overnight/heavy flow with wings)
Bleeding for the first 6-8 weeks following delivery is normal. It is called Lochia (LOW-kee-uh). It will begin as very heavy, bright red bleeding that will gradually diminish to a dark red, brown and then to a more yellowish color. During this time period, nothing at all should be introduced to the vagina. Only wear pads, cloth/reusable or disposable, no douching, and no sexual intercourse until the lochia flow has stopped and you have been cleared by your provider."Granny" or Mesh Panties
At the hospital, you will use mesh panties to hold your pad and ice pack. Bring the mesh underwear home with you or have a pair or two at home. If you've had a c-section, try the C-Panty. Here’s a listing of postpartum panties to find the right type for you.Ibuprofen Pain Reliever (Motrin/Advil)
6-800mg of ibuprofen will be brought to you every 6 hours in the hospital, along with some crackers. This medicine will help with cramping, and will also help with inflammation “down below.” Most women find the ibuprofen is enough to manage their pain, but if you are still experiencing a lot of pain, ask your nurse for something else (usually taken in conjunction with the ibuprofen). You will be sent home with a prescription for the 800mg tabs of ibuprofen.Nursing Pads
When you nurse your baby, you will experience what is called a “let down”, which is simply the release of milk from your breasts at the same time. When you hear your baby cry, you may also leak milk and appreciate wearing nursing pads. Both reusable/washable and disposable pads are available for purchase. If you don't plan to breastfeed, you'll still need pads for a bit of time as well as a head of cabbage kept in your fridge.Nipple Cream
In the first few weeks breastfeeding, your nipples may get a bit sore. Nipple cream by Earth Mama Angel Baby or Motherlove will help soothe and heal the affected areas. Alternatively, you could try organic coconut oil.
It Takes A Village
You will need to build your village of support people. It’s important for BOTH parents to seek out support from other parents – not just friends, but other people who have kids and “get it.” Both men and women experience postpartum depression. Read this to be able to recognize the signs of postpartum anxiety and depression.
Find a support group NOW so you know who/where to turn to for help. You can always call your doula or care provider if you need suggestions. We're here for you.
Finally, you may wish to arrange a lesson with an infant care specialist for hands-on guidance on newborn care. Doing so will help ease your transition to parenthood. Best wishes!
6 Ways to Survive a Colicky Baby
"Was I enjoying my sweet, new baby? No. I wanted my old life back. I wanted to run away. More than anything, I wanted to sleep for days."
I remember running into an acquaintance a couple of months after my son was born. “Are you enjoying that sweet, new baby?” she asked. I stared blankly. The weight of exhaustion made it impossible to fake my enthusiasm, so I gave a long, deep sigh. The correct answer was obvious. Doesn't every new mom enjoy their precious new baby? The truth was that I wasn't.
He nursed constantly, refused to take a bottle, would only sleep on top of me or in my arms, screamed every time he was in his car seat. Starting at around 4 pm, every single day, he would become inconsolable and cry. A LOT. I swaddled, nursed, rocked, walked, shushed, begged, and cried with him for hours. This is how I spent most of my afternoons. Was I enjoying my sweet, new baby? No. I wanted my old life back. I wanted to run away. More than anything, I wanted to sleep for days.
Having a high needs or colicky infant feels relentless. Those afternoons stretched before me, and I knew that, unlike what everyone said, this was not going to pass. Time had stopped, and this would go on for the rest of my life. I was Sisyphus, condemned to push a boulder up a hill, with a crying infant strapped to my back.
“I was Sisyphus, condemned to push a boulder up a hill, with a crying infant strapped to my back.”
Everyone was right, though. My son is almost 2 now. He is smart, funny, healthy, and delightful. Here are some tips and techniques I learned along the way, and also some things that I will do differently if I have another child:
Rest when you can. I often found it difficult to sleep during the day, but just closing my eyes in a quiet, dark room helped me recharge. And don't worry if you can't get to sleep. It will get better, and you will sleep again. Being anxious about not sleeping only makes it less likely that you will sleep.
Take a "Mailbox Moment." If you are feeling overwhelmed, put your baby down in safe place, and walk away. Go outside, take deep breaths. I felt guilty when I did this because I wanted to be able to fix it, and I thought a good mother should know how to do that. Now I know that a good mother knows she needs to take care of herself along the way.
Ask for help, and take it when people offer! I found it helpful when my husband would take the baby for a walk. A quiet house and the bliss of aloneness were so healing for me.
Read the Happiest Baby on the Block, and use the “5 S System.” At the time, I had not read the book, but my son's pediatrician recommended the techniques in it. Swaddling and making a loud shushing sound with movement were particularly helpful. If you have a colicky baby, you should know that, while these techniques do help to take the sting out, they may not be the magic solution you're needing. They certainly help, but only time will definitely end the problem.
Hire a postpartum doula. When I became a mom, I didn't have much experience with newborns. While much of the care is instinctual and learned along the way, having a trained and experienced professional would have been so helpful in the transition. A postpartum doula will help the new family by providing emotional support and guidance in newborn care, while helping you get your bearings as a new mom and family.
The most important thing to remember is that it is just a season. It isn't forever. Even though it feels like it is. It really will get better. Now, I look at my wonderful two year old son, and those sleep deprived, colicky days feel like a lifetime ago. In many ways, they were a lifetime ago because I'm not the woman I used to be.
Colic does end. You can survive it, and come out better and stronger on the other side of it. Motherhood is a journey, and journeys aren't always easy. But they are worth it.
